Querying for Emotion

Querying an agent? Make her swoon.

We talked yesterday about how to forge an emotional connection between yourself and your concept question as a way to make your writing more powerful and true.

But there's another sort of emotional connection we'll have to make when our novels are finished--the connection between our query and our dream agent.

Over on her kidlit blog, Mary Kole put this clearly. She says she wants a query to make her care. Well and good. But she's talking about more than showing high stakes and conflict, or teasers about the troubled backstory of our MCs. What Kole is asking for is a gripping, powerful emotional connection that occurs through a finely wrought combination of language and storytelling.

Kole: Looking for Love

"I want to feel something," Kole says. "Even if it is just a stirring of feeling or concern or nervousness or longing. Most queries fail to elicit even one feeling (other than boredom)."

What Kole is asking for here is a pretty tall order. It's a little like being told: I want you to walk into a room and make me fall in love with you. You have exactly 60 seconds. Go.


But the order is even taller. You're going to walk into the room at the same moment with 100 other people. And they'll all be trying to make the agent fall in love with them. And all you know about the agent you're courting is what's on her blog and her list of clients. Now go.


Querying for emotion appears to reverse what I heard last weekend at my plotting workshop: That what agents and publishers are looking for, above all, is good stories. Not so. The what happens ought to elicit the powerful emotional response. Keep it in mind.

Now go forth and revise your queries.